PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
