Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
