Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
