Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
