I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
