Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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