if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
