Dual....:-)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
