So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
