Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This house was built for laser tag.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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