don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You're like the curious george of whores
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
