Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
