Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
