He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
