Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
