dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
