Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
