just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
