Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i am craving dick and cupcakes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
