we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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