whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
