I think my vagina is haunted
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
