but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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