it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
