went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
