Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
