My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
