Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
