you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
