YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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