I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
