i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
