I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
