i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
