You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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