The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
