Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
