who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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