somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
