You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
