She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
