dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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