yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
