Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
