I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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