i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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