how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
