Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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