Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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