She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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