I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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